Tuesday, March 15, 2022

My Dating Profile:

 


I'm a 31-year-old womxn with a past. When drunk I have been known to put my feet on the wall while still wearing shoes. I've also been known to be up for a random bike ride here and there. Don't worry though I'm an alcoholic who doesn't drink now! Are you ready to take that on? It will be fun! I smoke on and off. It's a thing; a sexy thing. I've been told I smell of pancakes. I have a tapestry I refuse to get rid of that reads "Eat My Ass" and yes, I eat....
in bed when I am depressed. Depression! Depression for everyone! I can be really sad and really bummed out at any fucking time. I'm mysterious. I was raised Mormon. The One True Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints bestowed upon my head the gift of trauma and I am not fucking angry about it at all. I swear. Do we actually still care about that in 2022?

I dressed up as an Indigenous person. Which is super, super great and not problematic at all. I also had a dreadlock, super chill. I'm patriotic! Protesting Fascism, Racism, Police Violence, Capitalism, Misogyny, Another Missing Womxn Not Getting Enough Attention, Phobia of Human Existence, Anti-Abortion Laws? I'm in. I'm so proud to live in such a free country.
Wooooo! USA! USA! USA! We made it!
I've had an abortion.
My cat is my best friend, and you won't always be invited to join us. Bring a lint roller
or don't come at all, I don't care.




No comments:

Post a Comment