I learned something on the night of February 6th and into the early hours of the 7th. I learned that it is completely possible to both be so very happy while so very sad and angry.
That next morning before heading into work I stepped into the shower of his sister's place. I started weeping. I tried to hold it in so that Z couldn't hear me. It felt like my chest was cracking apart. I finally knew. I knew he didn't love me. I knew that I had loved him, despite the fact that he had never loved me.
I knew I had to leave. The person I was leaving him for was neither permanent nor rational. That didn't matter. I knew that I would regret losing the next two weeks more than anything else I'd been accepting around me. I knew my relationship meant nothing to me anymore. I was free.
I cried so much, and if he heard me; he never said anything.
-My Phone-
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