Getting out of an abusive relationship and then digging through your most inner parts to make sure you never go there again is quite the workload. It's hard, sad, exhausting, and leads to a lot of disassociation and breakdowns. Adding on to that, watching your best friend make the same mistakes you are trying so desperately to never make again, can be very triggering. Knowing their worth is being stomped on and dimmed makes you want to fucking light shit on fire. Let's be honest, everything is making me want to light shit on fire right now. So what do you do when someone you love won't leave the piece of shit that they are dating?
I took to Google to find out. It's been full of frustration and familiarity. Nobody could convince me to leave Z. I had to leave on my own. It is something I haven't allowed myself to receive credit for until now. I did it. I left. I got out. It was me who took care of the finances, physical labor, mental overload; just as I did in that dreadfully one-sided relationship. I had to sit in hell (Sacramento) for 2 years before I figured all of that shit out.
So I will have to stand back (but still nearby) and watch my friend fumble around in her own -less than ideal- surroundings. I must find a patience I have never known and the unconditional love I've only seen in movies and read about in books. I cannot make someone be someone they are not ready to be. Keeping that in mind, those pesky boundaries must stay put. I did not agree to be in any form of a relationship with another Narcissist. I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing right now.
HELP.
I am going to AA meetings again.
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