the family,

When you break up with someone and you have grown fairly close with the family it's sort of like... BAM. The hurt I mean. For you see, Eric was a pretty crummy person, but his family was great. And today, as I'm sitting here with just my thoughts I can't help but miss them.

I texted his mother. I'll admit it. I just wanted her to know I think about them and miss them.

And the text back made me wonder, "What has he been telling his family??"
It wasn't a mean text by any means, no, his mother is too sweet. But I feel like she has some emotion directed at me for "hurting her baby". I would apologize if I had done something wrong. Ugh. Maybe one day she'll happen across my blog. Wishful thinking, I know. But if she does...

Tricia,

I would like you to know that I couldn't let myself "settle" again. I deserve more than settling. AND honestly, your son didn't respect me, at all. I just wanted him to do something with his life. ANYTHING. Guitar lessons, voice lessons, art lessons, part-time job, go to college part-time, do chores around the house. But he literally did nothing. And I had already dealt with a person close to being like that, I couldn't do it again. There is so much I would like to tell you, but it would come off as me bad-talking Eric. So, just know, there is so much you choose to ignore about him. But it was IN MY FACE always. I just couldn't do it anymore. I was beat. :/

I hope one day Eric gives you guys the respect you deserve. I hope one day he learns how to say "thank you". I hope one day he realizes he takes you all for granted and all he has been given isn't normal for someone that has done what he has. And most importantly I hope one day he gives you a daughter-in-law, grandchildren, and normality. You told me once he was the one you had high hopes for. It hurts so much to know he can't give you anything that a mother deserves. I've vented to my mom for many moons about this. You deserve so much from him, and he can't even give you a fraction of that.

I am frustrated, and sad. But also happy, because for once in my life I made a good decision, for myself. Although I miss you, I know we are better off now then if I had waited a year to fight for my happiness. I hope one day you fight for your happiness. You are the parent, always remember that. It's your house, your money, your rules. You are capable of being more in charge than you believe.