Smile.

My 21st birthday was amazing. It lasted over 2 days and I enjoyed every minute of it.

~~~

Thank You to all who spent that time with me. xoxo

here and now

What goes up,

must come down.

Gravity.

Reality.

Vindictive,

After putting up my last post I have been thinking a lot about how being vindictive comes to be.

I realize that I am no person to talk.

And that bums me out. I used to be so happy, and bright. Now I constantly feel like I am walking under a cloud of doom. And this makes me realize that to be vindictive is to spread it. Others have made me this way and keep me this way, and if I don't try to stop, I could be causing it for someone else. I need to not allow the world to get to me so much. Yes, a lot of people suck. Yes, Utah sucks. Yes, religion sucks. But there is not a damn thing I can do about it. What I can do is smile and wave, because one day I'll be living in a big city or a small town or an in-between of that. One day I will be a mother of a child, or 2, or 3. One day I will have a fuzzy faced, 6 ft. 3 in. man, who wears plaid, button up shirts (this I can not take anything but, it is how it is), and maybe I'll be a teacher, or a counselor, or a stay at home mom who has a side job of selling jewelry out of the house. It doesn't matter what it is, I'll do it. The world is my oyster. I will not be at Golden Corral at 30 years old, with no schooling to my name. I will not be settling for the ghetto. I will not be settling for any man that pops into my life. And I will one day be genuinely happy again. As my dad has been telling me lately when he's noticed how down I am:

"This is all means to an end. You are not going to be here forever."

my life...

... and shit go hand-in-hand.

How is it that I am expected to keep my head up when things keep stomping down on me?

My job.

My "friends".

My living situations.

My dating life.

And now, my license is going to be taken away for a year.

I feel REALLY, REALLY shitty right now.

Like, what is the point?
I have no reason to be in Utah right now besides my family.

After court I think I'm going to pack up and leave.

The only thing is, when you are alone, you have no where to escape.

And without a license, I'm even more stuck.

I have not felt so completely stuck for a long time.

And this all leads me to wanting to drink. It's a vicious cycle.
For all of those who literally questions Liberals' political beliefs.
I just... can't comprehend that. We are never taking rights away. We are never putting someone in a spot that literally could destroy their spark called life.

It's Conservatives that take and take and control.

It's Conservatives that hate and judge and corrupt politics through religion.

I am so done right now.

I just need to go organize my room, cry, and then sleep.

When did being vindictive and hateful become acceptable??

When did this state get so far gone?

There is literally no hope for the state of Utah.

i

often

find

myself

thinking

this

Golden Corral: Mass Producer of Waste and Food Poisoning

"You are not Server material."

Miss Tracey of Golden Corral in Orem, Utah:

Your Servers are not BOH material. I, however, can do it all.