Him: "Do you even believe in love?"
Her: "I used to."
If only I could put the emotion felt. Then maybe it would be better understood. Sometimes I wish I could share my memories with another. Sometimes I am glad I can't.
Sometimes I hate another him.
Sometimes I hate that I can't hate him.
Honestly, I have this huge fear that I will never be able to love again, and there is nothing that will be able to change that. I constantly feel like a part of me is missing. A part of me that I haven't been able to find. I don't even know if that part of me is out there to find anymore.
I literally don't feel. There is nothing more I can write or say to try and help anybody understand. I can only reach this certain point and then there is... nothing.
I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this. I know there is someone better out there for me.
I gave it to the wrong person. Can I please have my heart back?
I don't want to be numb anymore.
I know that I didn't feel as much for N.R.P. as you did, nor did I go through everything you went through. I didn't date him or anything, but I want you to know that I somewhat do understand what you feel. He's been my friend for a long time and I can't just hate him. Even if sometimes I feel I want to. I miss having you as a friend and I feel like you hate me cause I talk to him. I'm sorry, but I do care about both of you. Good or bad. And I'm not trying to be snoody, but I do think that out of everyone in this world I am the closest one to understanding how you feel about him. I hope you can forgive me for whatever I have done and you can at least know that there is one person out there truly listening to you, even through a blog.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I truly do believe that one day you will find that guy who treats you well and loves you the way you desereve to be loved.
ReplyDelete