Birthday Girl.

People disappoint me daily. To think I've almost lived in this world for 23 years. Why? People suck. And unless I want to live in a tent in the wilderness with my 3 wolves, I'm going to have to be around people for another 50+ years. I don't like this one bit. Not one bit.

*cheers to gin*

Getting me through the next few days until I cry because I'm old(er) and have nothing to be proud of.

Divorce and Marriage.

I don't always invest my heart into marriages, but when I do, you damn well better love each other forever.

Too deep...

I know I shouldn't let bullies get to me, but they do.

They do.

They have.

They will.

I fear they always will.

Too deep...

Commitment is so rare these days.

I feel like our generation, and the one before, was raised very badly. Divorce, Break-ups, Families disowning their members, not even fucking bands can stay together.

What is wrong with us?

Gun Nuts.

It's Coming.

The year anniversary of me not being killed.
I'm dealing with anxiety sent straight from the darkness of hell.
My therapist said I'd deal with this, which is all just lovely, except for that fact that I've not seen my therapist since being disowned by my family.
I guess it's all up to me to get through this.
And I know I will, but it sucks.

In other news, I'm not doing a very good job of keeping my fingers still online.
Can people really not put their guns down for 3 seconds and insert themselves into the world of common sense?

I'm going bonkers over here.

Sydney

I put myself in others pain, it's one of my greatest weaknesses and yet strengths. As I was reading it was as if I was seeing into myself a few years ago. Depression is a real thing, and you can't get through it alone.

http://sydneytaylorbruning.blogspot.com/

I am so very sorry for all that are dealing with her loss.

Hold Your Head Up.

10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self:

1. You are not ugly.
2. You deserve good friends; find some.
3. Don't be afraid to speak up for what is right.
4. Falling for the seemingly nice guy shouldn't happen so easily, let it take time.
5. Do your f*cking homework.
6. Spend more time with your siblings.
7. Hug your mom.
8. Don't feel bad if you want to spend a day in bed reading.
9. You don't need that ice cream, eat some veggies.
10. You are a good person, don't let anyone make you think otherwise.

Obligation; No more

There is a girl I work with. And her parents love her very, very much. The relationship they share makes my heart ache. I've never had that with my own parents. There has always been this word in the air, my parents never tried to hide it much, "obligation". That's what we were to my parents. The children they had made. The children that should have been made out of love, alas, were not.

As I watch from afar, the life of families that pass me by, I realize that I never would have found a sense of happiness with those that share my blood.

I also realize that The Szugyes give me more of what I have ever wanted from parents. They hug me, and let me cry, then hand me a glass of wine and tell me jokes. They let me talk. They let me believe. They let me learn, search, and most importantly: fly through this world as if it's my own adventure, my own story to write.

My blood gave away the title of "Mom and Dad". And in turn gave me one of the greatest opportunities I've ever been handed.

Breathe in, breathe out.
The world has so much more to offer than we could ever think possible.