Alejandro Guadelupe Alcantar,

I hope you enjoy your 10-12 years in prison. (Harshest Sentence)

I gave my Victim Impact Statement. I was the only person to stand up and face him. Without his gun, he was nothing to me. I called him out, and it felt good. I may type up my statement at some point, to give y'all the full effect.

Although his girlfriend gave me a look of death while he eyed me like he would lunge and strangle the life right out of me, it was a good day.

Oh, and I will be there when he tries to come up for parole.

Hugs & Kisses.

Somewhere In Massachusetts...

Going to Court

I'm not doing too well right now. And to top it off my court appearance as a "victim" is on Monday. If I think about it too much I start having extreme anxiety attacks. I am about to meet my monster face-to-face. And I will not have my family there with me. I'm out of clonazepam. And to everyone else the robbery is long over. But with this happening I just feel beat.


I sort of wish he had shot me in the head.

Fathers...

“The kind of man who thinks that helping with the dishes is beneath him will also think that helping with the baby is beneath him, and then he certainly is not going to be a very successful father.”


-Eleanor Roosevelt

Dos Equis XX

I don't always carry on,
but when I do,
I keep calm.

And get drunk.

Always remember,

For a while now I've found myself believing that without family you have nothing, this however is NOT true.



"Friends are the family you choose for yourself."

. . .

"Children begin by loving their parents;

 as they grow older they judge them,
sometimes they forgive them. -Oscar Wilde

White Blank Page...

I Miss You...

Camille...

And also my cat, Brewster Baby.

No Improvements.

As scattered as my thoughts are it is so very clear to me that I need to leave. For a week, two weeks, a month. I just need to go. I yearn for the ocean and sunshine. I yearn for understanding. Of myself, and life. But life as it is, keeps me rooted in the very place that sucks away my light. Jobs and my parents. It makes me angry that I can't make a choice to leave because of anchors. Holding me down from flying free. My self discovery shall never happen if I cannot be light as a feather. Right now, my anchors are my enemies.

I wish I was brave enough to just go. And say fuck these jobs that I hate anyway. And parents that will get over it in the long run. I am starting college in the fall, and after that I will never have the chance to be free. Why can't my parents just understand.

I need to go before I lose it. That robber took from me, but he also gave me something. The realization that I have not done enough to die happy.