i

often

find

myself

thinking

this

Golden Corral: Mass Producer of Waste and Food Poisoning

"You are not Server material."

Miss Tracey of Golden Corral in Orem, Utah:

Your Servers are not BOH material. I, however, can do it all.

It's My Time,

once again I find myself wishing for better treatment.

I have not yet figured out why it is that I end up at the bottom while so many others end up at the top. It's as if my past friends, past and current managers, and past boyfriends have all sensed something about me. I have no fight left in me.

Where is my fight? It's been gone for a while. But I'm trying to bring it back. And I can honestly say I deserve respect. Respect that I have not been getting in a work place or life for a very, very long time.

It's my time.
And I meant what I said.

"I can't do it anymore."

But once again I have gone ignored. So I shall continue on my quest for a better job.
I have hope it will happen. Universe, don't let me down.

crash.

No one really puts much thought into what they do to others. It's one of the biggest flaws we human beings can have.

...but we don't have to be flawed in this way.

handle it.

I dreamed a dream...

and in this dream I became pregnant. By a man with a face I never saw. And my tummy grew. And then I gave birth. To a beautiful daughter. And my love for her was so deep. It was a love I'd never felt. My family was there as the doctors had placed her in my arms. And I named her Kaylee. Don't ask me why. I've never even thought of this for a daughter's name. But it happened. And I began to raise her. And all of the dirty diapers in the world couldn't take my love for her away. She was my everything. My hope for a better tomorrow. Then I woke up and literally missed my daughter.

I think I really want to have a baby. I'll do it on my own. God knows a man wouldn't make things better or easier.

Grandfather Moomchi,

it will be my pleasure to spend a day with you.

Wallah:

"The star-shaped morning glory is symbolic of a single day each year in which the Chinese lovers, Chien Niu and Chih Neu, are allowed to meet. According to Chinese lore, Chien Niu was a boy star who was entrusted to take care of water buffalo in the heavenly kingdom. A girl star named Chih Neu was put in charge of seamstress duties. They fell in love, and the romance caused them to neglect their duties. In anger, God forced the young lovers to be separated on both sides of the Silver River and allowed then to meet only once during the whole year...The morning glory is aptly named, as the flower blooms in the morning and dies by the afternoon."

It had begun.

It hurt a lot.

It was still hurting a lot.

It still hurt a lot. But it was done and beautiful. I guess I should say is beautiful. I feel pretty vain, I keep looking at myself in the mirror.

...LOVE...

"Writing is a means of carving order from chaos, of challenging one's own beliefs and assumptions, of facing the world with eyes and heart wide open. Through writing, we declare a personal identity... and we find purpose and beauty and meaning." 

-Jack Heffron

"Sometimes remembering will lead to a story, which makes it forever. That's what stories are for. Stories are for joining the past to the future. Stories are for those late hours in the night when you can't remember how you got from where you were to where you are. Stories are for eternity, when memory is erased, when there is nothing to remember except the story.

-Tim O'Brien

the truth about my nose dreams,

they ruin my real world.

For you see, sometimes I have these very real, vivid dreams. In them I get a nose job, and I am pretty. And I am happy. And boys like me for more than my body. And everything is peachy. Like, really peachy.

Then I wake up.