Anniversary of Fucked Up.

Tomorrow will come, and hopefully I will handle it just fine.

I've been having some problems with anxiety the past week or so.

Followed by dreams that leave me frustrated with my brain, get over it already.

There is nothing left to sort out yo.

maybe, probably, sort of.

Cops, Po Po, Pigs

So, tonight I decided to go out on the corner by my house and jokingly put my leg and thumb out just to see what any passersby would do. A cop just so happens to be the first car to go by. And what does he do? He decides to STOP in the lane, OBSTRUCTING traffic, get out of his car that is OBSTRUCTING traffic, and then come over to me threatening to give me a ticket for.... are you ready?...... OBSTRUCTING traffic. :P hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. What a DOUCHE. Anyway, so I'm obviously not taking this event seriously, so he has to go on and on thinking he has important things to say. He is annoyed with me for not thinking he is some sort of God and I am annoyed with him for existing, so we are not going to be friends, it is obvious. But it doesn't end here, another DOUCHE has to show up. Because you know, Lindon cops have nothing better to do with their "skills". They are now BOTH blocking the street, OBSTRUCTING more traffic flow. Two cops, one girl.... hmmmm. Also of importance is the fact that cars go 45-mph hour down our street when it is supposed to be a 25-mph zone and that he wasn't busy pulling over those cars he was busy OBSTRUCTING traffic and badgering me. So yes, the moral of this story is:

Cops are full of douchebaggery, and douchebags are bad for our vaginas.

Douchebaggery is not a friendly color on you my friend.

forever.

today will forever be the day that a selfish, lying, shite person got away with murdering her child. what has this world become? when a mother can kill her child, the person who she should unconditionally love, and then get away with it there is something terribly wrong with our belief system.

i am disgusted.

please someone take care of this monster....

my light, my aura

I keep hearing that I have this light about me and that is why certain people are drawn to me. I don't see it.

I am really, really tired.

Blue Valentine

...is a depressing movie.

I can't say I recommend it to anyone because it's so damn depressing. But if you are into that kind of stuff, watch it, sure.

Where does love go over time?

Pleasant Grove, UT

I've always known that I hated the place, but it wasn't up until today that my hate was finalized.

For you see, today I went to the Orem library! My heart was full and checking out my loot was an adventure. There were many, MANY, MANY books. There were many movies, books on audio, and 3 stories to fit it all. Oh, 3 stories and 2 sides to the library. Why does anyone want to live in Pleasant Grove? Really? They can't even give the citizens a good library. Which doesn't surprise me. What religion wants their people to educate themselves on literature that is not their own?

kind words from a friend/follower,

Brooke...

Your blog has inspired me and opened my heart so much. Your blog helps me to never regret my feelings. I am allowed to feel...I have realized a lot about my life and self after reading your blog.You use your blog for so much more then others, your blog is a diary. It has ups,downs and you write what you want don't matter what. you write how you feel and you share with others so deeply.

So broken, then renewed.

So real.

I feel honored to have been able to read it through out your journey.

Thank you for being an inspiration.

wow. this made me tear up. thank you so much.

the truth is,

the unknown scares me,

and everything in life is unknown.

Spooky.

Youtube feels I must not share a certain video with anyone. We wouldn't want to offend Mormons. Which further proves...

money is power.

and the "leaders" have nothing but profit.

So, now I'm left to describe what this video showed....

Women trying to enter the veil AKA enter into heaven. They are chanting and putting their hands up, and doing some sort of secret handshake, and the whole time you watch this you think, oh my lord, is this a cult? But no, it's the Mormon "religion". They are wearing their own veils/hoods, some green apron thing, and an Amish type dress. And after it ended I felt like throwing up. THIS is what my parents are a part of?! THIS? How? Why? I mean, they raised me to think and educate myself. Yet they do this? So it doesn't make sense to me. I am confused. I am hurt. I am sickened. I am worried...

If Mormons are this controlled what is stopping them from going into a big camp and committing mass suicide? What is stopping them from believing it is God's will? I feel like I need to protect my family. I do NOT want my siblings to be a part of this.

**EDIT** Good news! Someone helped me out via Ex-Mormons Worldwide on facebook. Thank you dear kind sir. You may watch the video HERE.

cowards.

I understand why the online world is so full of cruel people.
It's simple,

the real world is full of cowards.