My Siblings:

The day has finally come...

Keith II- He just turned 16 years old; and boy oh boy can you tell his age. Was I that cranky when I was 16?? :P He has some things to figure out in his life. I try to help him but... that doesn't go very well. But here are the good things about him: He is VERY artistic. I think one day with some practice and self discipline he could become a tattoo artist. What a cool job that would be! He could hook his sista up!! :D Right now he is taking drum lessons, we all hope it helps him take out some of his aggression. He likes to design video game levels? Pardon me, I do not know the lingo. But he has gotten good feedback, and I believe he could even decide to go into graphic design if he wanted to.

Kaitlyn- She is 12 years old; turning 13 in March. She acts much older than her age. I often turn to her for advice or just a friendly reminder that I am not alone. She is VERY popular and pretty. Can you say cheerleader type? ;) She hates when I say she could/should be a cheerleader. (as long as she doesn't take on the bad habits they sometimes have *coughcoughskanks) Anywayyyy, She is boy crazy; VERY boy crazy. I can't believe how early it starts these days. So boys, I've got my eyes on you....

Among her many talents, because she is good at so many things, sigh* Jealous, are gymnastics and dance. She has taken a break from dance though. She had been in it since she was 2 years old and was burnt out. But really, she can pretty much do anything she sets her mind to.

Donovan-He is 11 years old and is the baby of the family. While he can be quite the little "brat" at the end of the night he is usually the one making a wise crack that has us all laughing. He's good at breaking a bad mood. He is a sweet heart. Sometimes I worry about him. He is so easily walked on by others. :/ He LOVES anything about World War II. While it's hard to get him to read and write give him something on war and he's reading to do both. He was not a "planned" child; which I mentioned in an earlier post. But to go further on that. I believe he was sent to us for a reason. His health conditions have brought our family closer, who knows, he may have even saved my parents' marriage. We don't know what is in store for his future but he will have our love and support all along the way.

What I Believe:

Ask me again when I'm a happier person.

But in funnier news, here are some of my not as important beliefs:

1. I believe Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and Bill O'Reilly are phonies.

2. I believe the LDS church is not true; in fact no religion is true. If any church were true God would be a judgmental, pervert, jerk.

3. I believe I HATE living in Utah.

4. I believe I need a nose job.

5. I believe one day... if I make it... I will find people who treat me right. I will live somewhere great; hopefully California!

6. I believe I am not crazy. Although if someone had asked me even a month ago I would have said I was. But really, as my one day counselor said; summarized: "I've just been dealt too many bad cards." I believe anyone in my shoes would have lost it a LONG, long time ago.

7. I believe patience is the best thing for me right now. *smirk

but you're just a boy...

intimacy.
honesty.
commitment.
you.
me.
us.

...

-A Moment-

A moments is all it takes to lose your mind; your spirit; your hope.
A moment is all it take to be ruined.
A moment is all it takes to have your pride trampled on; your name disgraced.
And a moment is all it takes to decide to push forward after all of this.

understand me. please.

"Run your fingers through my soul. For once, just once, feel exactly what I feel, believe what I believe, perceive as I perceive; look, experience, examine, and for once; just once, understand."

Kaitlyn,

My sister, my best friend.

We can be dweebs together.

this once was perfect...

This chaos, this calamity, this garden once was perfect

Give your immortality to me; I'll set you up against the stars

The sea is wine red, this is the death of beauty The doves have died, the lovers have lied.

-The Hush Sound

Jar Of Hearts.

God this is so my song. But sometimes I just want to scream, because I don't want this to be my song.

a lil' bit of Karma...

Green Bay Packers-21
Chicago Bears-14

:]

Today is a good day people. A very good day.


p.s. I just love watching teammates run into each other. hahahaha!

My Parents:

My parents, hmmmm, what is there to write...

My father was born on August 19, 1962. His parents went through quite a few divorces which led to an unstable homelife. After graduating he decided to join The Marines. He went out, leaving a fiance at home, returning to learn she had cheated. So he broke the engagement off. He then went on a mission for the LDS church; although not raised in a Mormon home. After returning from his mission he attended BYU. Where he met my mother. (surprise, surprise.)

My mother was born on September 23, 1965. She was raised in a VERY religious, Mormon home. She attended Ricks College (now BYU-I) where she met her love. After he left on his mission for the LDS church she soon decided to go on one as well. But while gone, he came back, finding another girl and then leaving my mother. Heartbroken, she then attended BYU. Where she met my father. (surprise, surprise.)

They got married after around 7 months of dating. (surprise, surprise) My dad didn't want to have children until school was finished but after 2 years of marriage my mom was VERY baby hungry. One day there was a storm and the lights went out... VIOLA! Here I am. When I was almost 5 years old they had my little brother, Keith. After that the doctors said my mother should not have any more kids due to almost dying. But my mom wouldn't listen. She knew she was meant to have one more child. Bam, Bam, Bam... here came my little sister, Kaitlyn. She once again almost died, as well as almost losing my sister. But in the end, all was well. And my parents were satisfied with life. But the universe had other plans, there came my other little brother, Donovan. This is a popular saying from my parents: "Dad wanted 2 kids, Mom wanted 3, and God wanted 4." I won't so much disagree here. Whomever/whatever was responsible for sending Donovan should get a big thank you... but I believe another day is about siblings. So I will save that for later.

All in all, my parents and this family haven't had the best things thrown at them. But we are still together... Moving to Utah definitely wasn't the best thing for our family. But maybe one day we won't be here anymore.

So Yesterday.

You can change your mind.

You can change your clothes.

If you change your mind, well that's the way it goes.

You can say you're bored.

You can act real tough.

You could say you're torn, but I've heard enough.

Thank you, you made my mind up for me.

When you started to ignore me.

Do you see a single tear?

It isn't going to happen here.

Haven't you heard?

I'm going to be okay.

I'm just a bird that has already flown away.

-Hilary Duff

a little message from a friend...

"Brooke: Thank you for being strong, you are one of the strongest women I know, and you will always hold my highest respect. You showed me what it’s like to take control of your life and decide to be happy. You are beautiful, so beautiful. I am glad you are happy and seeing you smile is one of the most amazing things in the world. I love you, thank you for being my friend!"

This meant more to me than she could possibly imagine. Sometimes I don't feel strong at all; knowing someone notices makes me feel like I'm doing something right.

Finally.

What Love Is...

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine

Hello Peeps,

Long time no write.

It seems as though someone may try to use my writing against me.

Don't worry though. I trust that freedom of speech and freedom of press still exist. (sort of)

So what if I hate the Mormon religion, so what if I like to go clubbing and to partayyy, so what if I swear.

These things cannot and should not be used against someone.

I just...

I am tired.

Tired of never having a life that I can control.

People can be so mean and selfish.

I still hate my job.

My job where I am now pretty much the "head-sweeper". But are they giving me the pay? No. They are giving me the hours and work though. Ahha, I love being a female. ;)